Boys will be boys
This statement has probably gotten more boys into trouble than out. I, myself have used it but it really should be stripped from our colloquialisms.
My house is the house where all the kids go. You know the place, there’s one in every neighborhood. It looks like I run a circus with all the developing unicycle riders, stilt walkers, ball players and all. With all the activity one might think I had ten or more kids, as if six weren’t enough!
A few weeks ago there was an incident in the area of dogs being shot at with a BB gun. I had a cop come to my door and ask questions. Now firstly, we know our Constitutional rights and teach them diligently to our children, so we practice them especially when asked to neglect them. That means I don’t talk to cops without representation. Secondly, the armed man was in essence asking me to proffer up a sacrificial son based on his words. Nothing doing. He went away and we thought nothing more about it.
You may wonder “But what about the dogs” , I as a mom, and animal lover, did too. I am no denier either. I asked my kids did they know of anything like this in the area. The answer was no , why would anyone shoot a dog?. We had no idea who’s dogs were in harms way, until a few days later. My middle son and daughter were in a neighbor’s yard when a boy from the next street over came to the fence with these words…”Hey, that was pretty cool how you shot those dogs! Why don’t you give the police your name?” WHAT?? Then my son notices our neighbors with many dogs watching him. He came home to tell me.
I am Mom but I try to be realistic. Could MY son do such a thing? Could this be a boys will be boys event? I looked at my son and knew “No”. This is the kid that on the farm slept in the goat pen, was in the puppy pile when our dog had a litter, rode bare back ponies that others were afraid of, no this was not the kid. That isn’t just Mom that is reality, right?
So, after some discussion we decide that he should go talk to the dog owners and relieve them of any suspicion . He and his older brother went twice but no one answered the door. What more could we do? That question was answered by a letter from youth court asking us to bring our son (name badly misspelled) to a investigation for Malicious Mischief. Talk about a feeling of nausea and dread! Anyone reading this that home schools knows that even little things can bring the authorities in on the home school witch hunt. But we also live in the deep south and for those that are unaware, the Justice Dept. is investigating the state’s youth court for Human Rights violations. They have sent kids to juvenile for the wrong color socks! NO JOKE.
O.K., well this isn’t the first kid to be wrongly accused. How do we deal with it? We decided again to go to the dog owners. My husband , son and I walked over and this time they answered the door. I was amazed that after I had spoken a few short sentences this woman and her son were hugging my son and saying it was not him who they SAW shot at the dogs! These folks said they would attend the court and tell them this was a misrepresentation of what they had told the officer.
That week was utter pain. The ‘what ifs’ were constantly parading through our heads. How would we handle a bad outcome? Would the court even listen to the complainant? The pain was not just ours either. The neighbor lady who had signed the complaint was beside herself with guilt. She couldn’t do enough for my son or our family. I told her to remember the good that comes from this, that we are now better neighbors and friends.
A week later that is just what they did! Before they could even get into the court office the matter had been settled without my son’s name being taken down. The boy who had told the police he saw my son do the shooting , the same boy that thought ‘it was cool to shoot dogs” was now on the courts paperwork for investigation. We could not have hoped for a better outcome.
This whole thing gave us pause. One ,we found good neighbors and my son new friends that now have him helping them with their dogs.That’s right up his alley! Two, concern we have a kid(who has been in trouble before) in the area so willing to lie to police and the police so willing to use his word. If we had not been the type to visit our neighbors my son could be in confinement or fined for something he did not do. Neighborhoods are not what they used to be but it is up to us, all of us to try to make them better. So get out there and meet your neighbors! Lastly, it makes me look at my kids as independently as possible, I think they are really good kids!
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