On August 18th, Abdur Rabbi turned four years old. His favorite color has changed from orange to red. He has blue eyes that look deep into your soul just like his brother IIsa. Auby is my last child. He slept in our bed and from the first night he would coo , letting us know he was comfortable. If we cooed first he would answer. He was and is a very happy child. May God continue to bless us.
August 28th is my birthday and Zeda’s birthday. She turned into a teenager and I went to the downhill side of middle age. Zeda is a gorgeous, nurturing, silly young lady. She makes her brothers crack up. She can whip up a loaf of bread from scratch in no time at all. I need a day just to prepare then a day to cook! People say we look alike but I don’t see myself as beautiful as she is. I never did. I hope she believes me when I tell her .
She has asked that I buy her make up. I worry that this is an indicator as to her self-reflection. I don’t want her to base herself on outside influences. So, what did I say ? I said I would get her ‘some’ make up, lip gloss and kohl. I used to wear the stuff but now only once in a while and sparingly. Zeda is a feminine spirit, natural and wholesome. I will help her experiment and experience things as I hope to keep her grounded.
When I look at my kids, especially around the birth-days, I think of how fast the years have gone by. I hear my mother’s words coming out of my mouth. I still FEEL like I’m in my twenties! Then the mirror screams reality. I remember that I never thought I would get married or have kids! Boy, was I wrong!! The funny thing is , now, I can’t imagine life without them.( Except on bad days I imagine I am a hermit artist, alone with my art in a tropical paradise.) They are my raison d’ etre, my joie de vive. I am swirling with mixed feelings of being old and young at the same time. How is it that the events of the past ten years are like a lifetime and yet I can remember the smell of the top of baby’s head, peach cobbler!
It’s like the Talking Heads sang “Is this my beautiful life?”
“How did I get here?”
I think now I prefer to celebrate like the Mad Hatter – ” A very merry un-birthday! To me!”